this blog is sooo NOT dead

hi guys im back

been living alone for the past 1month plus and thereve been ups and downs. perks are i get to do whatever i want, dance and sing whenever i feel like it etc……. but because im all alone I GET SO BORED/LONELY and i have total freedom to do wtv i want i tend to OVEREAT. so my resolution for tmr is to post up pictures of EVERY SINGLE food which i eat AND BE TOTALLY HONEST WITH MYSELF. if i overeat ill frigging post them all up. itll be like aixxx.wordpress.com but less pretty pictures and more for myself rather than my audience (although i think those of u who enjoy food pictures might enjoy it too!)
my overeating problem is seriously getting quite out of hand recently. tonight, i had some soup with rice and onigiri at my friends house during bible study but when i came back i made 3 roti canais WITH KAYA and nibbled on some omelette which i cooked last night but its frigging disgusting im gonna throw it out later because tmr is trash-pickup day AND a banana. WTF. granted,i had a smallish lunch but i also had a red bean bun with whipped cream for tea on the way to baito (part time job) and drank 500 ml of cocoa after lunch too. all those frigging empty calories shit.
now im feeling damn bloated and filled with regret im starting to hate myself
maybe this is a disease. or it will become one if i don do sth about it now.. kinda embarrassed but those of u who read my blog, i assume, are ppl who care about me and vice versa so i don think u will judge me right?!??!?! hugsssssssss also i think imma start making my blog private soon.
gosh i can really feel the fullness kicking in right now. GAR. and the thing is, its already 9.45 and i was frigging sleepy just now i shouldve just slept. but i was just somehow craving BREAD/CARBS or sth of that sort and i succumbed to the temptation when i saw the ROTI CANAI (its damn good btw thank goodness ive finished it I WONT BUY IT ANYMORE)
i think the scale model project last last week kickstarted this overeating problem because during that whole week i had mostly convenience store food, and conbini food are as tasty as they are UNnutritious. and that project was so stressful (two betch teammates) that all i had to look forward to were mealtimes and i started to think it was ok to survive on conbini food alone (bread and stuff, i quit kashipan (sweet buns) after summer 2010 but ever since few weeks ago i started to feel like eating one or two wont hurt and i think now ive been eating one every alternate day)
ok mouchan just came over to give me fried rice …………………. it was so nice of her but i was like NO DON GIVE ME ANYMORE FOOD i started to tell her i had this eating problem (felt like crying) but she cut me off halfway and started reciting the ingredients she used in the fried rice. ………….. sometimes i just cant seem to communicate with mouchan. language problem maybe meh. so i just took the fried rice and said thanks…………. guess itll be my breakfast tmr. look forward to the photo! lol.
and also, i hope this photo thing will also make me stop eating while walking (because id have to take a picture of it before eating) and its hard and weird to take a picture of my food in public (restaurants ok la but taking pictures of ordinary food is kinda weird) and japs NEVER eat while walking so ill prob get stared at.
ok writing htis post has been quite therapeutic. IF U REALLY CARE ABOUT ME, BUG ME IF I DON POST UP DAILY FOOD PICTURES K!!!!!!!!!!
i cant wait to go home in 2 weeks to have a normal life again:( miss my famiree soooooooooooo much <!–3